Choked

Oh my, being a mom is going to kill me already. Nolan has been on a liquid medicine for acid reflux for several weeks now. We use a little dropper to give it to him and he's always taken it just fine. 

Last thursday, we visited the doctor again for a wellness (and weight) check. He's up to about 8 1/2 pounds now! His murmurs are stable, and everything else was great. 

She told us to start a Vitamin D supplement, and just explained that most babies usually need it and it's just a good idea and most of them have other beneficial vitamins too.

So, after giving him his acid reflux medicine, which he took just fine, I used the dropper to give him his first dose of the Vitamin D supplement.

Cory was holding him while I gave him the medicine. He'd been wide awake staring at Cory. After I gave him the medicine, I waited to see him swallow and noticed that he hadn't. 

Then, I noticed he was being very still. That's about when he tried to cry and couldn't. Within seconds he was turning blue and tried a few more times to cry, but was unable. 

Sheer panic.

After stating the obvious to each other, I grabbed him from Cory and put my hand on his chest, it wasn't moving. 

Cory ran for the phone, set on calling 911. 

I've had CPR training many times, but in that moment I had so much doubt about what to do and how to do it. Then, I'm glad something else kicked in. I put his face in my hand and laid him out over my forearm angling him towards the floor, being sure to keep his neck straight, and gave him five good back thrusts between the shoulder blades. 

I quickly switched him from arm to arm face up this time, prepared to do chest compressions when he screamed out a big breath and was able to inhale. 

It was the longest 20 or 30 seconds of my life. 

He had a few more choked up cries, but was breathing and slowly getting some red and pink color back in his face. But, of course was hysterical with panic. I clung to him, equally as hysterical.

All I could think of was babies die like that all the time. Even though it was over and his precious cries indicated his breathing, I felt paralyzed by the unthinkable alternative.

We called our moms and jumped in the car headed to the hospital, just for reassurance. Of course, I strapped him into his carseat, but even putting him down for the 3-5 minute drive to the hospital was terrible. I kept my hand on his chest the whole time. 

He had aspirated some of the medicine into his lungs, but after a few hours was able to get it all coughed up. 

Finally, the ER released us. 

It was the scariest moment of parenting yet. We were all exhausted by the time we got home, but I was so worried to just put him to bed - even with our movement sensor pad. And my poor baby was so wiped out from it all that he was conked out good. 

I watched him for the longest time as he slept in his crib that night, while offering up an abundance of thanks.